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Dear Ed
One day in the cul-de-sac, Ed and Eddy were minding their own business by destroying government property outside, until they saw Jimmy passing them by, holding Plank. "Hey! Is that Jimmy.. and Plank?" Eddy asked. "It is, I recognize that crayon smile anywhere, Eddy!" "Weird description of the kid, but ok." he muttered, then quickly speeded over to Jimmy before he could enter his house. "HIYA JIMMY-BOY, what ya doing with Plank, huh, did you steal from Jonny?!" "Eddy!!" Jimmy shrieked at the sound of his voice and made himself small in his presence, "J-Jonny and Plank had a horrible tiff! Jonny walked off in a huff! Abandoned; Plank was helpless! I offered the hunk of wood a home!" "..Ya call that thing a 'hunk'? You have low standards." "Please leave me be!" Jimmy continued, "I've got nothing to do with their break-up, I s-swear!" "Break-up? They were going out?" Ed asked, "I knew it!" "..So, Jonny's walking around without a friend and is defenseless right now?" Eddy grinned, "This'll be interesting. Heh heh.. heh? Wait a sec. Hasn't this.. happened before?" "Has what?" Jimmy asked. "Jonny and Plank getting into a fight. You taking him in. Then I get inspired to sell Jonny a new imaginary friend, but he goes back to the board, anyway." "Hm.. Don't remember, Eddy!" Ed replied. "Yeah..! Yeah, it did happen, I'm sure of it!" "I don't remember, either." Jimmy followed. "Look above! This episode is called 'Dear Ed', it's the same as the one from the original Ed, Edd n Eddy cartoon!" "..Nope, no idea!" Ed shrugged. "Episode two, season two!" "Doesn't help, Eddy." "First aired on November 26th, 1999!" "Can I go now?" Jimmy intervened. "It's the same plot, Ed, I swear!" "..Well, if everything's going the same as last time, maybe we're supposed to do it again?" Ed argued. "You mean, like.. try again.. but, do it better?" Eddy pondered, then a devilish smiled curled on his face, "Yeah..! Maybe the universe wants us to win! This time we're gonna sell Jonny a friend and make him pay double and upfront!" Later that day, Jonny was found sitting by himself in the park. "Hey Jonny, I heard you and Plank had a little spat again!" Eddy remarked. "..Again?" Jonny replied. "And now you're all alone? That's no way for a mentally sound guy like yourself to spend your days!" "U-Um.. Thanks Eddy, but what can I do? Plank and I-" "Forget about him! Real friends don't fight!" "Really?" "No." Ed said. "Ed, hush, I'll fight you on this!" Eddy snarled, "SO JONNY, wanna hire us to find you a new pal?" "..My loneliness is killing me." Jonny mumbled, "And I.. I must confess, I still believe." "Friends come and go, and it's time for a new friend to co-... Wait, did you just quote a Britney Spears song?" "Classy!" Ed complimented. "Ed and me don't want you to be lonely, trust us on this, we'll help you move on!" "..You two wanna be my friends?" Jonny asked slightly hopeful. "No way!" Ed and Eddy said in unison. "But we can make you a new friend! Better than Plank!" Eddy continued. The three went to Ed's house to look through the many pieces of trash in his room that could function as an imaginary being. It didn't smell good, but there was cool stuff lying around. "Before we begin the search, Jonny.." Eddy began, "..you gotta pay a fee for our services." "Wha?" "You see how this place looks! Shouldn't we get compensation for digging through it?" "W-Well, I don't mind doing it myself, Eddy. Allow me!" "Shoot." Eddy cursed through his teeth. Jonny took his time browsing the room, though nothing seemed to spark his interest. Then again, his mind was still with Plank. He agreed to come along, but wasn't completely looking forward to replacing him. They only just broke up. He poked his large head inside Ed's closet and continued his search there. "That kid's real nosey.. you don't have anything embarrassing stored away somewhere, do ya?" Eddy asked Ed. "I feel no embarrassment for nothing!" Ed replied. "That's true." Then suddenly, they heard Jonny screaming like a maniac and watched him get launched to the other side of the room in a dramatic fashion. "Woa, Jonny!" Eddy shouted, "E-Ed, you sure you got nothing embarrassing in there?!" "LOOK OUT!" Jonny shrieked, "THE BOOT, THE BOOT IS MAD! MAD, I TELL YOU!" Ed and Eddy walked over to the closet and saw a single brown boot sitting there in between the "usual" junk. "Oh. That's Salty the boot." Eddy remarked. "You named my boot, Eddy?" Ed asked. "That's the name we gave it back then! Pay attention!" Eddy kicked the thing out of sight and looked at Jonny shivering in the corner. He really wasn't feeling it now. Darn it, why were things still repeating from last time, they were doing things differently, weren't they? "Jonny looks like he could use a party!" Ed then said, "How about we have a party and he can meet friends there?" No.. things were exactly the same. Double D wasn't around this time to do his lines, but either he, Ed, or Jonny would just say or do something that led to the same result. They couldn't have this party, they'd just fail again! "Bad idea!" Eddy replied. "Oh.." "It's not just imaginary friends Jonny's interested in.. it's wooden planks with faces. We've seen more of them, haven't we? Like Plank's so-called parents and Plank's so-called punk friends! All planks!" "So.. then we.." "Make Jonny another Plank!" They told Jonny to wait outside, while they made use of the garage to create an abundance of faced planks for him to choose from. When they were finished, they opened the door to welcome him to their selection of friends. Jonny stared his eyes out. "I see you're getting emotional!" Eddy smiled, "Glad to help ya! Go ahead and choose a friend!.. price tags are on the back.." "Plank.." Jonny muttered. "Yeah, a whole lot of em! Come on in!" "PLANK! I MISS PLANK!" he cried, and turned around, "PLANK, EVERYWHERE I GO I SEE YOU! I'M SORRY, PLANK!" "Hey, WAIT!!!" Eddy called after him, "Wait, what about these planks!?" But Jonny was already gone. Just like last time, gone, and back with his old friend. "GRRRR, WHAT DID I DO ALL THIS FOR IF IT'S STILL THE SAME STORY!" Eddy complained. "Maybe to teach you that nothing beats an old friend, Eddy!" Ed smiled, and put his arm over his shoulder. "I'LL SHOW YOU THAT SOMETHING CAN BEAT AN OLD FRIEND!" he shouted with swaying fists. "Don't hit me! What did I do!" "C'mere!!!" "Eddyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" The End Category:Fan-Fiction Category:Fan-Fiction Episodes Category:Fan Fiction